LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, AOTEAROA
You're allowed to want what you want.
Fair warning: this page is more direct than most therapy websites. If that's not your speed, that's alright, my other pages are gentler.
HOW I WORK
My Approach
"You don't need to brace yourself before you tell me."
Sabrina Barbara
"You do not need someone else's permission to want what you want. You just need somewhere honest to start."
Sabrina Barbara
What This Actually Covers
Sex therapy gets talked about like it's one thing. It isn't. In this room, it usually falls into three different territories, and you might be carrying more than one at once.
Your body, and how it responds. Desire that's gone quiet, arousal that's harder to access than it used to be, pain, or a body that isn't cooperating the way you'd like. If there's a physical piece to this, we work alongside your GP, not instead of them.
Who you are, and who you're drawn to. Orientation, gender, non-monogamy, all of it. Never treated as a problem to solve, because it isn't one.
What turns you on, and what you do with it. Fantasy, kink, curiosity you've never said out loud to anyone. Held with genuine interest, not a raised eyebrow.
THE PROCESS
What Working Together Looks Like
Who It's For
Anyone carrying sexual shame or guilt. Anyone processing an affair from either side of it. Anyone questioning their orientation or relationship style. Anyone curious about non-monogamy or kink who wants to think it through properly before bringing it to a partner or a date. Anyone who is simply ready to stop keeping this part of themselves in a separate room. Anyone who has never said their fantasies out loud to a single person and is ready to stop carrying that alone.
What to Expect
Sessions are 50 minutes. This is your pace, your language, your story. Every so often I might suggest a little experiment to try between sessions, just curiosity with an invitation attached. No pressure, no grading, entirely optional.
"You can stop rehearsing this in your head. Just say it."
Sabrina Barbara
Who You're Actually Talking To
People often assume the "proper" person for this kind of work is a psychiatrist or a psychologist, because the titles sound heavier. Here's the truth, without the mystique.
A psychiatrist is a medical doctor. They can prescribe medication, and that's really the main reason you'd need one. Most sex and intimacy work isn't a medication conversation.
A psychologist holds a psychology degree, and depending on their training, may or may not have done specific further study in this exact territory. The letters after someone's name tell you about their qualification, not necessarily their comfort or skill with this particular conversation.
A counsellor or psychotherapist, which is what I am, trains specifically in sitting with people through exactly this: attachment, intimacy, shame, desire, connection. My training is EFT-specific and ICEEFT-recognised, which means my entire clinical world is built around this exact work.
No title here is automatically better than another. What actually matters is whether the person in front of you has real experience in this specific space, and whether you feel safe enough to say the true thing. You're allowed to ask any practitioner, of any title, what their actual experience with this work looks like.
"There's no version of this that's too much for this room."
Sabrina Barbara
Invoices and calendar entries are discreet. No session details appear on either.
If you're working through this as a couple rather than on your own, this same approach is also offered through EFT Sex Therapy on The Relationship Room.