What I offer
Separation Counselling
Separation is not a single event. It is a process — one that moves through practical, emotional, relational, and identity layers, often all at once. For many people it is the most disorienting experience of their adult lives, even when it was the right decision.
This is not a course. It is not mediation. It is deep, ongoing counselling support shaped entirely around where you are — at whatever stage of the process you have reached.
What Brings People Here
Wherever You Are in This, There's a Place for You
People come to separation counselling at very different points:
In the early stages — when the decision has just been made and the ground is moving
During the process — navigating co-parenting, grief, anger, and the logistics of a new life
After the legal process is over — when the dust has settled and the emotional work begins
Years later — when something from an old separation is still shaping the present
When they're not sure whether to separate at all
Note: If you're at the point of deciding whether to stay or go, Discernment Counselling on TheRelationshipRoom.nz may be more appropriate. Mention this when you get in touch and I'll help you find the right fit.
"Separation does not have to mean permanent damage. With the right support, it can become one of the most clarifying and growth-filled experiences of your life."
Sabrina Barbara
THE PROCESS
What Working Together Looks Like
Why This Is Different From the MoJ Programme
The Ministry of Justice offers a free group programme called Parenting through Separation. It is a useful introduction to the practical and relational challenges of co-parenting — and it is freely available. I can refer you to it if it's what you need.
What I offer is different: individual, emotionally focused counselling work that goes to the root of what you are experiencing. Not a programme, not a checklist. The slower, deeper work.
What to Expect
Sessions are 50 minutes, weekly or fortnightly. We begin with a free 20-minute Zoom call. There is no fixed length — we work together for as long as it is useful. Sessions via Zoom; in-person available in Wellington and Hawke's Bay.
"I've been a child in a separating family, a spouse, a divorcing parent, and a single mother of two. I know this terrain — not just professionally, but from the inside."
Sabrina Barbara
A Note on Co-Parenting
If you are navigating a co-parenting relationship that has become conflicted, or if you need formal help with parenting arrangements, those services sit at TheMediationRoom.nz. The two practices work alongside each other — counselling support here, mediation and agreements there.
If you're going through a separation and need help with parenting arrangements, or co-parenting agreements visit TheMediationRoom.nz.